Confessions
by nefertari-nz
Summary: HavocxRoy...Havoc is filling in for Hawkeye driving Mustang around. He's taking this opportunity to get things off his chest. How will Mustang react?


Jean Havoc lit another cigarette. It occasionally crossed his mind that perhaps he should stop, but he never seriously entertained the idea. He tucked the pack back into his pocket, and inhaled deeply. There was nothing like the first drag…well, almost nothing.  
As his superior came down the stairs, he stood up from his slouch. Hawkeye was off today, so he was back to his old job of driving the taisa around. Truth be told, he had kind of been looking forward to it. It had been too long since he had been able to talk to Mustang, and there was no chance of anyone interrupting them while they were in the car.  
Havoc saluted Mustang with a nervous smile on his face, and opened the back passenger door. Mustang saluted back, but shut the door again.  
"I think I'll sit in the front today" he said, a quirky smile briefly appearing. Havoc felt his palms start to sweat immediately. Why would he need to sit in the front? This could possibly make things a little more awkward. He had things he wanted to say, and it would be easier if he couldn't actually see Mustang watching him while he did. Now, he would have no choice. Still, this was something he had to do. And wanted to do. He would still do it of course, but this was already going against the little plan he had been working out in his head.  
Roy got into the car and shut the door. Havoc, desperately trying to think of a new plan in the time it took to walk to his side of the car, stumbled in the middle of the road.  
_Good job, Havoc,_ he thought. _That's a really great way to start the day._ He picked himself up and, shame-faced, opened his own door and got in. He risked a glance at Mustang, and was rewarded by a returning look, one eyebrow raised in that way that infuriated almost everyone it was directed at.  
"Good start to the day, Havoc," Mustang said, almost as if he had read the other mans mind. Havoc felt his face begin to go red, and hurriedly turned away.  
"Where to today, sir?" he asked, gritting his teeth. Already this was going appallingly.  
"I don't know. Just drive. I'm a bit bored today, to be honest."  
Havoc suppressed a grin. This was a little more to plan. He put the car into gear, and drove. He knew exactly where he was going.

As Havoc drove off, Mustang stared out the window. He didn't know what was with Havoc. The last couple of days, he had been acting very…strangely…towards Mustang. And then when Hawkeye asked someone to cover her driving duties, Havoc had almost fallen over himself volunteering. Strange. Still, He was sure he had his reasons. Probably he had just broken up with another one of his girls. That seemed to happen fairly regularly; although he didn't know why it was Mustang he was acting oddly towards.   
Gradually, Mustang became aware they were leaving the city, heading out towards the countryside.  
"Havoc, where are we going? Even though I said I have nothing on, I didn't intend for us to take a road trip." Havoc darted him a look out of the corner of his eye.  
"Not too far, sir. Almost there now." Mustang gave him a level look, but Havoc was concentrating on his driving. A little more than usual, Mustang noticed. Havoc turned the car off the road. No, wait. Mustang remembered. There were still the faint signs of a track down here. Mustang himself had brought a girl or two down here when he was younger. It was nice and secluded, and very few people knew about it. But what was Havoc doing bringing him here? He had complete trust in the man, but this was a little weird. Maybe he was planning on paying him back for all the times Mustang had had to discipline him. Mustang smiled to himself. Well, if that were the case, he would have no problem dealing with it. For now though, he was just going to play along.

Havoc stopped the car just in front of a large tree. It nicely shaded the car from the sun. And conveniently blocked any view from the road. He had been here many times before, and knew that they would not be seen. He wiped his hands on his knees. He just had to find a way to broach the topic. That was the one thing he had not worked out in his planning. He had tried, but everything he thought of was ridiculous. He took a breath, planning to speak, but let it out again. How was he going to do this? Thankfully, Mustang broke the silence first.  
"Should I even ask what we are doing here, lieutenant? I assume that since you broke up with your last girlfriend you have a bit of time on your hands. I also assume you've decided to get some payback."  
How could he possibly know that? The man was a mind-reader. He had to be. Havoc had not discussed what he was doing with anyone. For obvious reasons. He could get in a lot of trouble for what he was about to do. Still, Mustang had given him his opening.  
"You're right. I have broken up with my girlfriend. You know, the one at the flower shop?"  
Mustang blinked. So that was it. Havoc was sore because Mustang had gone a date with his girlfriend. Well he hadn't known. She had made mention of some guy, but she had made it seem that he was just someone who was hanging around. Mustang understood. He wasn't sorry though. He had probably done him a favour. He thought Havoc deserved a lot better than someone who would mess around like that. He was too good of a man. He opened his mouth to speak, but Havoc interrupted him.  
"No, don't say anything. That's not what I've got to say. Truth be told, it didn't really bother me that much. She's not the one I want anyway."  
"And who is that you do want?"  
Now what? Mustang was looking at him with an expression Havoc had not seen before. It was disturbing him. He looked too…knowing. If it had been anyone else, he would have said Mustang also looked intrigued. He had to be misinterpreting one of them though. If Mustang had any idea what Havoc was planning, there was no way he could look intrigued as well. He had no idea what to say next. That he had to tell Mustang, there was no doubt. It was the particulars that were giving him problems. He knew that the worst Mustang could do was say no. But somehow, that was _the_ worst thing that Havoc could imagine happening. Still, there was nothing for it. He had gone this far. He had to finish the job.  
"You."  
There. He had said it. He stared straight ahead, out the windscreen, and waited for the explosion. He knew what Mustang would be thinking. He was an infamous womaniser, and he would be disgusted by what Havoc had confessed. Havoc closed his eyes, and waited.

Mustang was stunned. That was not something he had ever expected to hear from Havocs mouth. He had never thought, not ever, that Havoc could ever feel that way about him. Mustang thought he had finally gotten through that. After Maes…left…he thought that he would never find anyone again. Certainly not Havoc. Oh, he had dreamed. For the longest time, he had even contemplated finding some way to tell him. But he had known that Havoc would never return those feelings, so he had let it go. But now…

The silence stretched out. Havoc squeezed his eyes shut even tighter, this time to stop the tears leaking out rather than to block the look of revulsion that he knew was on Mustangs face. Why wasn't he doing anything? Why wasn't he shouting, telling him to get out of the car, driving himself away and leaving Havoc out here, alone. He couldn't bear the silence anymore.  
"I'm sorry, sir. I shouldn't - ." He was cut off by a finger across his lips.  
"Don't apologise, Jean. There's no need for it. And my name is Roy, not sir."  
Havoc sat stock still; not daring to move for fear that this would turn out to not be real, to be nothing but a fantasy. The finger on his lips moved, trailing across his cheek, and a thumb scrapped gently across his eyelashes, rubbing away the dampness that had leaked out. Mustangs hand pressed flat against the side of his head. He felt the other man shift in his seat, and suddenly another hand was on the other side of his head, turning it to face the passenger side, and then there were lips on his, wonderful soft lips, and Havoc knew that he had died, because there was no way that this could ever happen.  
"Jean, open your eyes. Jean, now. Open your eyes."  
Havoc opened his eyes, and saw those black eyes that he had thought about so often right in front of his own. This was real though. He could scarcely believe it. He began to panic. Surely Mustang was just playing a trick on him? There was no way he could return his feelings. The look in Mustangs eyes softened though, and Havoc knew that this was real, that Mustang was really here and really kissing him.  
"If you only knew how long I have waited for this, Jean."  
Havoc felt the euphoria bubble up inside him. His eyes closed of their own accord as Mustang leaned forward to kiss him again. Now he knew, things were never going to be the same.


End file.
